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Mamma is mad

April 20, 2011 by admin

and someone’s gonna get cut.  Remember when I used to blog, “I’m just a guest in this country” and “I don’t want to cause a stir” type of bull crappity crap?  That girl is gone, buh bye, hope to see you again (I swear I just heard Natalie’s eyes roll).

I have been broken by a Chinese jack hammer.  I don’t know if the Chinese jack hammer is different from the American jack hammer, because I’ve never had one blazing through a shared wall…all day long…for days on end…for the second time, back home.   See the people (very wealthy Shanghainese) who bought the place next door are gutting the entire  place inside for renovation.  It’s their right to do so.  But they already gutted the place (back in December) and put in new walls and flooring and then got in a squabble with the contractor, hired a new one and STARTED OVER!  So now they’re jack hammering everything all over again.  They were kind enough to tell me that it would only be going on until AUGUST.  However, their exact words were, “the big noise go on to May 6”, well gee, that’s a relief.  I believe the words that came out of my mouth were, “I’m calling the police” and as she tried to hold back a snort of laughter, I added, “AND my attorney!”. I’m just hoping Bernie will come out of this with 1/4 of his nerves left.  I told them that I was a writer and I had serious deadlines to meet!  I just felt all your nasty little side-eyes come my way, but what else was I going to say, “My dogs nerves are shot, this has to stop”???   “If this continues and I can’t blog, you’ll be hearing from thousands of my readers!!!”???   However, It is true I can’t hear the phone ring, let alone try to have a conversation, but I’m not about to let on that no one calls me.  They probably already know that since they KNOW EVERYTHING here.  Whatever, I’m China broken and that’s all there is to it.

One positive note to all this is that the weather in Shanghai has been unusually gorgeous so I’ve been riding around town on the Scooteretta and having a blast.  To escape today’s jack hammering, I rode the scooteretta over to the mall and bought myself Clinique mascara (it’s called High Definition and it’s amazing) and a Dior Lipstick with a whopping 20% added tax on it and somehow that made me feel better.   And I’ll want to look my absolute best when I call the police.

Speaking of renovation, I really want this old house.  It’s on a beautiful street, across from my (2nd) favorite bar, The Alchemist, and right by the old Zhou Enlai residence…it just needs a little sprucing up is all.




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