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August, 2011

  1. That was no UFO

    August 30, 2011 by admin

    That was a 3 x 4ft. piece of marble tile that came flying off our building and crashing to the ground.  I didn’t even know about it until I saw what looked like one 80 yr. old man and two 12 yr. old boys hanging from our building outside, with a very large glue gun, “securing” the other marble tiles to the side of the building and when I questioned our building management about it they simply said, “don’t use your garden for a week”.  I’m like,

    A. Why didn’t you tell me this a week ago when it happened

    B.  Why are two youngs boys and their great grandfather doing such an enormous and important job??

    C. I hope your using Super Glue this time!

    I mean, where ARE the priorities around here???  I have mine!  Like, when I recently read about how alcohol consumption (in large amounts) can contribute to the skin sagging around the jawline I have made it a priority to not stop drinking but to find a darn good surgeon, come on people!!

    Anyway, I was telling Ken that while danger seems to be surrounding us at every corner, I could live here 20 years and nothing would happen…it will be when we move back to quiet Pasadena that some old lady will take me out with her 1985 Cadillac.   Could even be my own mother.

    Where Can the Children Play?  (as sung by Cat Stevens)


  2. “Spring” Water

    August 24, 2011 by admin

    While grocery shopping at the (very expat) Anfu Lu Market where I’m about to pick up a few bottles of Vitamin Water (yes, the sugar water that made 50 cent very rich), I notice it actually says Victory Vitamin Water.  It’s the exact same font, label, colors and the store had even put it in the Vitamin Water display case!!  But when you turn to the back it reads from Nongfu Spring water.   If you’ve spent any time in China you know that Nongfu Spring water means it’s basically fresh from the well of toxic waste and lead poisoning.   And to think I almost fell for it…damn they’re getting good.   Speaking of look-a-likes, shortly after that while browsing through the store a clerk girl came up to me and said, “lady!  here your chicken breast”.  I was like, “um, bu yao” and then she realized she gave it to the wrong expat shopper and when I saw this woman with her blond-highlighted hair in a ponytail, sun dress and flip flops, I suddenly realized we expat women really DO all look alike.  We’re at all times carrying either a yoga mat or baby (sometimes both), drinking large amounts of wine at lunch or  wishing we hadn’t bought that ill-fitting clothing at the fabric market.   At least I have dogs to separate me from the pack a little bit, pun intended.

    I went a dinner party hosted by, an online grocery store that carefully sources all kinds of meats, fruits, vegetables, breads as well as an onsite kitchen where they prepare fresh food daily for delivery.  It’s such a great resource and the dinner party was really fun and delicious.

    Here’s one of the dishes they served, it’s cute, yes, but I don’t think I like my bird (shrimpbird) staring me in the face…


  3. Jia Re Time

    August 3, 2011 by admin

    Musing Mandarin will be away for a few weeks in California wine country working on my arm muscles…the muscles that bring the wine glass to the lips that is.   I will be making the most of drinking those luscious reds that don’t have a 30% added chinese tax on them.  Yipeee!  And every evening, while in my foggy wine haze, I will toast to our dear, sweet, Sick Kitty who’s no longer sick but going to be a big, healthy boy soon enough!  He made it through his surgery with flying colors (including a 3 1/2 inch line of bright blue stitches down his abdomen).  He’s breathing freely, his intestine’s are no longer pressing against his lungs and the two holes in his diaphragm are sown up.  He’s HAPPY and moving around like never before!  He can even purr now and does it all day.  I will now be referring to him as Davey, (as in Davey and Goliath fame) and in a few months he will come back to California with me and bask in the California sunshine.  Life is good.

    The yoga ladies out for a drink at Morton’s in Pudong (Natalie, how many can you name??)

  4. Umboardella

    August 1, 2011 by admin

    A small typhoon decided to make it’s way to Shanghai yesterday afternoon (thank you very much for ruining a perfectly good Sunday) and for an hour it thundered and sent lighting bolts so strongly across the sky I was surprised to see the Pearl Tower still standing afterwards.  Bernie’s nerves were like, “again with the noise??” and went into a fetal position where all you could see was white fur and eyeballs while Niu Niu and I stared out the window and watched the blankets of water flood the streets.

    Sometimes an umbrella just doesn’t cut it…

    So Sick Kitty had his surgery today, I’ve been a little weepy and worried if you must know.  The doctor said he had a 50/50 chance going into it because it’s a big surgery for a kitten but the surgery is over now and he’s still alive.  The next 24-48 hours are still critical…besides a hernia in his diaphragm his intestine was in his chest cavity and pushing on his lungs and heart, I don’t fully understand the extent of it but from the X-ray alone you could see there was some major Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band craziness going on in there.  I would appreciate it if you could all send some good vibes, say a prayer, think good thoughts, dedicate your yoga practice, sacrifice a lamb (I’m kidding all you readers from inner mongolia!) whatever works for you, this way.  The little guy needs it.