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July, 2011

  1. Cup Runneth Over

    July 27, 2011 by admin

    Or maybe not.

    I’ve been traveling for just a bit so when I returned to Shanghai I went straight to Shanghai Daily News to catch up on what’s been going on in what my mother calls “Chiner”.  In between the coverage of the devastating Wenzhou train crash and the recovery of 89 children who were victims of human trafficking, was this important news story.

    B-CUP bras, especially black ones, are the best-selling bras on Taobao.com, China’s largest online shopping platform, the company revealed yesterday.  Statistics showed more than 41 percent of all the 739,966 bras sold via Taobao.com were B-cup.

    A regional disparity can also be seen as most B-cup and larger bras were bought by customers in north China, while buyers with ID registered in south China opted for smaller sizes.  Moreover, Taobao.com said males accounted for more than 20 percent of the bra buyers, indicating they cared for their spouses or girlfriends.

    Riiiiight.  Since we’re on the subject of brassieres…

    A group of us went to see Dolly Parton perform to a sold-out crowd at the Hollywood Bowl last weekend and it was just deeevine.  She sang old songs, new songs, played the guitar, saxophone, flute, banjo, piano and some other thing that sits on your lap and has strings. Everything she wore, played or touched seemed to be covered in rhinestones, crystals, sequins and fringe, she made Mariah Carey seem blingless.  She told stories about growing up in the Smokey Mountains with her 11 siblings, repeated her favorite line, “it takes a lot of money to look this cheap” and joked about her hair being from KOrea.  It was so good I’m not even going to complain about her singing “Islands in the Stream”, my least favorite song of all time.   Can someone explain to me what those two islands were doing in the STREAM??!  Anyway, should you now get that song stuck in your head like Jenny and I did, just start singing “working nine…to…five, that’s no way to make a livin'” and it will soon be gone.


  2. Not my Niu Niu

    July 11, 2011 by admin

    I’ve got a little story to tell you about a girl who’s nickname is Niu Niu.  No, she’s not the adorable, pumpkin-colored, 4-legged Niu Niu that I call MY little girl.  This is about an adorable toddler from Hangzhou who’s grandmother went to check on the laundry while little Niu Niu fell out of the apartment window.  Apparently a local woman walking down the street saw Niu Niu coming out of the window and ran underneath to catch her as she fell.  She WAS able to break the little girl’s fall and saved her life.  She was in a coma for 10 days and in critical condition because of internal injuries but yesterday her doctor’s said she has awoken and is showing great improvement.  The woman who caught her suffered a few broken bones but is fine.  Great news! Whew!

    It’s time for a Kitty Update

    Momcat and baby boy

     

    Sweet Girl Kitty

     

    Two Rascals playing

    Bad Kitty!


     

    Sick Kitty: The doctors confirmed Sick Kitty has a hernia and needs surgery.   They want him to be a little bigger before they do the surgery so he’ll go in at the end of July to see if they can make him all better.

     

     

     

    Kitty wearing Pucci scarf


     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     



  3. Are you sitting down

    July 7, 2011 by admin

    In the summer before I started 6th grade, while my mother was tending to the Little Leaque Baseball’s snack shack, I watched the movie Born Innocent.  This lovely gem of a movie featured a young Linda Blair where at one point during the film she gets brutalized by a gang of other teenage girls in the bathroom.  The scene was so horrifying to me that it crept into my daily thoughts and sent a chill down my spine until, well, like 5 minutes ago where it’s now been replaced with this story from  Shanghai Daily News.

    A 24 yr. old woman living in Nanjing had been suffering from minor seizures for the past 6 months.  Her doctors decided to do exploratory brain surgery to find out what was going on.  They did find a small “node” but that wasn’t the problem.  The problem was the 24 centimeter tape worm stuck to it!!!  They pulled the tape worm out in it’s entirety and it was still alive.  That’s nice.

    The story concludes, According to Chen Haifeng, deputy director of the hospital’s neurosurgery department, Li liked to eat hotpot and barbeque. It was the under-cooked meat she ate that brought tapeworm eggs into her body.

    You all have a nice night now, k?

     

     

     


  4. Chickens and Cherry Pies

    July 4, 2011 by admin

    So I decided I was going to roast a chicken for dinner and headed out to the market on the scooter.  The streets seemed very busy today and I got behind a guy who was trying to ride his scooter while eating a cherry pie.  Since when have the Chinese taken to eating cherry pies??   Who cares, this thing looked delicious.  As with many things in a busy city, good can turn to bad in a Shanghai minute.  After this pie-eating fool finishes the last bite he throws the wrapper into the wind…which then whacks me on the shoulder.  After that, he took out a new pack of cigarettes, proceeded to open the pack, throw the wrapper on the ground, light the cigarette and put them away, all while swerving back and forth.  Yes, he has good taste in snacks and yes, he proved some good one-handed driving skill but let me tell you, I’d had it with this erratic driving, cherry pie eating, littering, smoking Chinese wunderkind.  But then, in another Shanghai minute, it brought me back to when I was a kid in middle school and my mom gave me 25 cents (it was a long damn time ago people) everyday to buy a snack and every day I bought a cherry pie, sometimes chocolate.  And I have the nerve to wonder why I was a chubby 12 yr. old.

    Listen, it’s hot here.   And when it’s hot here, the stinks come out (you remember that Natalie, right?).  If you just walk two blocks you’ll get a combination smell of sewer, body-decay (probably mine) and Limburger cheese that’s been left out on a hot window sill for three days kind of thing.  It’s just so wrong.  Sometimes I notice Bernie get a whiff of something and  I can see the fear in his eyes like it’s telling him the end is near or worse, a city worker is going to come and have to “snake” the manhole again (I KNOW you remember that Natalie).   Oh my god, last year they had the manhole open for TWO WEEKS, dredging it or making soup, whatever they do down there and I’m telling you that if Paris Hilton had popped out of that hole wearing a maxi dress and tiara it wouldn’t have scared me more than that smell did.

    Happy July 4th America!! (can someone explain to me why the fattest nation on earth celebrates people who can shove the most hot dogs down their throats??!)

    In honor of your Independence, I mowed the lawn (beer not pictured).  Don’t say I never do anything around here!