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July, 2010

  1. Another ancient language is lost

    July 28, 2010 by admin

    Long before the days of LOL, LMAO, WTF and :P, there was Pig Latin.  Apparently they aren’t “teaching” it in the 4th grade anymore because kids don’t need to talk to each other to tell secrets, they can text, IM, email or the like.  No longer do you have to hunch over your desk to whisper in your friend’s ear “I atehay athycay” or “obbybay is itchinbay”, you can simply twitter it so the whole world can know.  Last month when Ken’s daughter was visiting, I let a little Pig Latin slip out and she was like, “um, I don’t even get what that is”.   I just shrug my shoulders and try to find some comfort in my blackberry.

    And it’s not any different in China.  So you’ll see the recycle man on his 20 year old rusted bike with the rickety trailer on the back and he has an old bronze bell that he rings by hand to let the shops know he’s coming by for a pick up where he then over piles the recyclables on the trailer and ties them together with bamboo string.  And then his cellphone rings…you can’t help but notice because Lady Gaga’s Bad Romance is his ringtone.  Maybe it’s his wife calling to let him know “tonight is bunko night with the girls” or  maybe it’s just a buddy telling him to meet him after work for some bai jiu. LOL

    And now I’m throwing in some gratuitous doggie pix, WTF???


  2. You know you’re in China when…

    July 25, 2010 by admin

    It’s necessary to have an entire clinic devoted to…

    Next to the…



  3. Paperdolls

    July 24, 2010 by admin

    I’m so old (bah dump pah) that when I was young they still hadn’t invented the perforated paperdoll outfits, we had to cut them out of the book BY HAND!!!   Those darn slip-on heels and pocketbooks were so hard, I didn’t even bother with the sunglasses.  You know now that I think about it, maybe my mom just bought them because they were cheaper!

    AnynowonderIhavecarpeltunnelhoo, in much more important paperdoll news, the band, Paperdoll, is coming to China!  This “nerdy rock pop band” who’s sound is somewhere b’twixt “Pat Benatar meets the Killers” is coming all the way from New York to play for us here in Shanghai!  So cut the neck out of your favorite sweatshirt and gel up your asymmetrical do  ’cause Paperdoll is coming to town.

    Here’s the line up:

    August 6th, 2010
    Frexh 2010
    Mao Livehouse (570 Huaihai West Rd)
    Shanghai, China
    8p

    August 10th, 2010
    World Expo: USA Pavilion Stage
    3588, Pudong Rd
    Shanghai, China
    10am

    August 10th, 2010
    World Expo: USA Pavilion Stage
    3588, Pudong Rd
    Shanghai, China
    11am

    August 10th, 2010
    World Expo: America Square
    Block C07
    3588, Pudong Rd
    Shanghai, China
    7:30p

    August 10th, 2010
    World Expo: America Square
    Block C07
    3588, Pudong Rd
    Shanghai, China
    8:30p

    August 11th, 2010
    World Expo: USA Pavilion Stage
    3588, Pudong Rd
    Shanghai, China
    10am

    August 11th, 2010
    World Expo: USA Pavilion Stage
    3588, Pudong Rd
    Shanghai, China
    11am


  4. A bun was in the oven

    July 20, 2010 by admin

    It wasn’t planned and we certainly weren’t expecting it to happen so quickly but Ken and I are now the proud parents of a little (4-legged) girl named Niu Niu!!!!

    Her name is pronounced niew niew and means “little girl” or “cow’s milk” or “Vegas Tranny”, I really don’t know because we keep hearing different meanings from everybody!  Her chinese rescuer said it means little girl so we’re sticking with that.  She was found alone at Taihu Lake in the pouring rain and starving.  She’s now about 7 months old.  She’s a bit shy but also very precocious and she and Bernie are already best friends.  So if you thought you were sick of hearing about Bernie, you’ll now be bombarded with two dog stories.

    This particular rescue is a collection of kind-hearted, animal-loving human beings who have to defy odds and take in as many strays as they can, get them healthy and find good homes with very little support and even less money.  Bless them and all their good work.  You can find more information and view their gallery of dogs and cats at Jaiya’s Animal Rescue

    And here she is….

    We think she’s probably a mix of fox, bear, Disney Princess and scallywag.

    When the party’s over



  5. Enough with this Tiger stuff already!

    July 20, 2010 by admin

    While the United States is obsessed with Tiger Woods, I do realize that  I have become obsessed with the Chinese Tigers.  To be honest I never thought about them once all those years in Los Angeles.  I was worried about dog- overbreeding, graffiti, water consumption, what age would I start using botox and which restaurant had the best margaritas.   Isn’t that what everybody worries about??

    Well, I just have to tell you this latest tiger story from the newspaper and I promise (fingers crossed behind my back) I will not tell another.

    So this Chinese father and his 17 yr. old son went on an outing to the zoo as a gift to the son who had just passed his college entrance exams.  Near the tiger exhibit they found an open gate and thought it was a short cut to the exhibit.  It turns out it was an entrance only for the tiger keeper personnel and that a truck had recently entered and they forgot to lock the gate back up.  woops.  And just how do you FORGET to lock a gate that accesses several Siberian tigers???   In the newspaper zoo official’s said there were signs on the gate to not enter but anyone who’s spent 5 seconds in China knows that Chinese people don’t pay attention to signs.   Come on!  Sadly, they were attacked and the father was killed, the son was injured but is doing fine.  The tiger keeper who forgot to close the gate is going to jail for a long time.

    And that’s the end to my pretty story.  I know, just like you, I would prefer me to go back to my graffiti obsession…but they don’t have any here.


  6. Let’s hear it for the girl’s

    July 19, 2010 by admin

    Below is a picture of the ballet flats I had custom made at Giotto in Taikang Lu.  I’ve decided they are so pretty that I could, say, use them as a table centerpiece, they look divine next to any hair coloring and outshine any other pair of shoes you may currently be wearing (see photos below for proof).

    And for you Alison, the girl told me that if you want a pair you need to just draw an outline of your foot and measure the widest area at the top part of the foot, around the knuckle area.  They have every color leather imaginable, suede too in black, ivory, beige and red (which is pretty darn cute) and I’m sorry to have to say this but they come in horse hair too.  This is China people (the Japanese probably sold them the skins! ).   Let me know if you want a pair and I’ll get them for you.  Just send me a scan of your foot.


  7. Can you say DDT?

    July 17, 2010 by admin

    What in Dios De Los Muertos hell is going on here?!  For the last several days, these beautifully colored “buttermoths” have been keeling over on our patio.  Everyday there are 10- 20 of them turned upside down and slowly dying!  A neighbor said they don’t live long so it could be that they hatched, hung out together and then it was just their time.

    OR

    It could be that every few weeks property management comes and says they need to spray for “pests”.  They told me the spray is safe but I want to go on record here and now that if Bernie sprouts another head or all my teeth suddenly fall out, you’ll know why.  Lord.


  8. I did not need to read this

    July 14, 2010 by admin

    When you’re a baby the first thing your mother teaches you when you’re playing outside is “do not ever eat anything that looks like a mushroom, you will writhe in pain and then YOU WILL DIE”.  Well, maybe that was just my mother but it’s amazing we ever grow to like them really.  I was just reminded of these words because when the “plum rains” came, these tiny, stalky mushrooms sprouted up all over our backyard.  I would have to go out every morning and pluck them right away because I was afraid Bernie or a stray cat might eat them.  And then I read this story in the Shanghai Daily News yesterday.

    Over the last three decades during the rainy season, several villagers scattered around the Yunnan highland’s would die of cardiac arrest.  About 400 villagers in all have died. It had scientists baffled, so they sent in researchers who after much trial and tribulation finally discovered that they had died from eating a poisonous mushroom!  This mushroom is rare and looks just like the non-poisonous mushroom they typically ate. They have warned and educated the villagers on these deadly mushrooms but occasionally someone will mistakenly still eat one.

    Oy, so sad.  And just last night I was enjoying the most delicious farfalle ai funghi.

    And now from mushrooms to shoes…

    I just had the cutest pair of leather ballet flats custom made at this tiny shop Giotto in the Taikang lu (Tianzifang) shopping area.   They have tons of color swatches to choose from and many styles for men and women.  The ballet flats are $50.


  9. Year of the Tiger…maybe so

    July 13, 2010 by admin

    I made an entry several months ago about several tiger’s that had died of malnutrition in a China Zoo and it wasn’t only one zoo.  It’s was heart-wrenching to read and it caused quite a bit of a stir here and internationally. Well, there’s some good news because there are lovely, smart people in this world (who do more than sit on their duffs and blog mind you). There is an organization Saving China’s Tigers that’s working hard, saving one tiger at a time and needs your help.  I know, I know, so many people, places and things need your help right now but if you think this could be your cause, check it out, it’s so beautiful what they’re doing.  You can “adopt-a-tiger”, read diary entries on the progress of the beautiful creatures, learn about “rewilding” and a host of other amazing things this foundation is doing.


  10. I’ve got a fever

    July 11, 2010 by admin

    World Cup Fever that is and tonight is the FINALS!!!   I haven’t watched all the games but I’ve watched almost all of them and this World Cup has had all the drama, sportsmanship, unsportsmanship, shananigans and rigamoroll (as my mother would say) that only this game can deliver.  The final’s don’t come on until 2:30 in the morning here so we’re setting our alarms for wake-up time, popcorn maker and coffee machine (beer?) so we can watch all the excitement.  As an aside, or offsides if you will, you’d think with all the millions of soccer fans in China they’d have come up with a better time for us to watch, right?!

    Anywhatwillidowithmyselfafterworldcuphoo, I am cheering for Spain because I’ve had way too many good times there (Tarifa I love you!) not to.

    Peace and may the best team win.