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January, 2010

  1. When I was 4 yrs. old

    January 31, 2010 by admin

    and my parents were out to dinner one night, my older brother (I won’t mention any names) rolled up a small piece of cardboard into a cigarettelike form and told me to smoke it as he lit the other end with a match.  Besides singeing the tips of my eyelashes, I distinctly remember taking a big breath in (as my mother did on her long brown Mores) and choking up a lung.  See, back in the 1960’s when you had six children, you figure as a parent it’s likely you just might ‘lose” a child or two along the way and well, so be it.  We didn’t wear seatbelts, we played in the streets unnattended and/or a neighbor’s alcoholic uncle was sent over to babysit.

    I think about this often in China when I see these parents and grandparents doting over their one child and how different it is for all of them.  So much effort and attention is put on the child…so much pressure too.    Every movement gets documented on camera. Education 6-7 days of week.  But who’s going to make them cardboard cigarettes?!  or tease them that they’ll NEVER be conductor of the family-room play train because they’re the baby?!   Or how you have to FIGHT for things like when you’re eating neopolitan ice cream and you don’t want to get stuck with only strawberry!

  2. Huh?!

    January 26, 2010 by admin

    In today’s Shanghai Daily News it reads:

    Woman hopes Alba face-lift gets boyfriend back

    So this 21 yr. old girl living in Shanghai wants to win her boyfriend back, who’s completely obsessed with Jessica Alba.  He bought her a “Jessica Alba” wig for Christmas and made her wear it.  He also made her wear heavy makeup and false eyelashes.  People laughed at her so she threw the wig on the floor and broke up with him.  BUT, “It was heartbreaking after splitting with him…(he) gave me a feeling like a family…I don’t want to lose him”.  She also adds, “I am a psychologically weak person.  I want to do something to challenge myself and build a strong personality through it”.  SO, as she doesn’t have the money to pay for her “Jessica Alba face-lift” surgery, she posted an add online and The Shanghai Time Plastic Surgery Hospital contacted her and told her if she REALLY wants it done and she REALLY thinks it over, they’ll do it for her, free of charge.

    Here’s a photo of her and with her Alba wig and false eyelashes

    There is so much wrong with this story I don’t know where to begin.

    A. If it’s that easy to get a free face-lift than why the hell haven’t I gotten mine.

    B. There is so much wrong with this story I don’t know where to begin.

    C. She DOES look kinda cute in that wig.

  3. What am I always saying…

    January 26, 2010 by admin

    There’s danger around every corner in this town.

    So I’m at Carrefour (the french version of “walmart” only better) and as I get to the bottom of the escalator my shoe string gets sucked into it…which I don’t realize until I hit the floor, flat on my face.  I have to crawl backwards to try to free my leg from the escalator. NOT ONE PERSON comes over to help me, thank you very much.   I did get some weird looks though.  Anyway, I did managed to pull my now-shredded shoestring out.

    You know ironically, Shanghai is one of the safest cities ever…crimewise.  You could be dressed in a towel, punch drunk with the queen’s crown on your head and make it home safely.  (I mean, not that I would know that personally or anything).  But boy, you better make sure you have your damn shoes tied.

  4. In the News

    January 21, 2010 by admin

    This is what I mean when I say we don’t need to worry about the “Pajama wearing situation” right now when there are BIGGER things that need to be addressed.

    In Shanghai Daily News today it reads:

    A man died and his wife injured after falling into an uncovered man hole this past Sunday night in Pudong New Area.  The couple had been walking home from a Funeral.

    How incredibly sad.

  5. “Move those bodies, nu ren!”

    January 21, 2010 by admin

    I was just sitting here contemplating botox vs. mini-facelift possibilities when this thought just hit me, I should start Jazzercise classes here.  I could have my leotards made here and lord knows you can buy tights around every corner in this town.  Expats AND Chinese ladies would love it and it’s so much more fun to move around to music than be on a treadmill. I would start the class off with  “step touch and step touch” then “stretch to the sky, stretch to the sky” and then a series of pas-de-buerre’s to get warmed up while “She works hard for the money” blares in the background.   I’d shout out positive commands, “come on ladies, work it, you can do it”.

    But then I was like, oh my god I’d have to come up with an HOUR routine and actually have to do it and it seemed like a lot right now.   I DO love a stir-up tight though.

  6. Guess what

    January 20, 2010 by admin

    I’d like to apologize to my readers (and by readers I mean reader, my niece leah who probably doesn’t even read this mess anymore) for not being a more regular blogger.  I know you’re all (ahem, Leah) hanging on every second for my next blog but it’s just that I’ve been busy!  I know it would appear that I have more time on my hands than any other person on the face of the earth sometimes, but I swear I’ve been busy.

    A. I’m pet-sitting Charlotte (2 dogs + 2 walks a day + 2 feedings a day + 2 poops squared divided by constant barking = one tired mamma)

    B.  I had some house-holdy type things to do

    C.  Natalie is feeling better and she can get coffee now


    We’ve been out and about going to galleries, bars, restaurant’s, bars and bars.

    Cassandra and Isaac at Moganshan Lu Art District

    The Happy Couple having dinner at Balthazar

    Drinks at Bell

    Waiter with bright purple shirt and a smile

    This looks like something out of the Paris Match society pages

  7. and I’m not kidding

    January 20, 2010 by admin

    If I had a penny for every Chinese person traveling during the Chinese New Year…I’d have about $210 million.  Bah dump ba.

  8. Friendship and Gall Bladders

    January 13, 2010 by admin

    So my friend Natalie is minding her own business when all of sudden she starts feeling bad, which turns into horrible and then before you know it she calls from the hospital.  She has gall stones with an acute infection.  You never think about your gall bladder until something like this happens, which I will now be referring to as “the nerve bladder” or better “the audacity bladder”.

    She’s feeling better now and home from the hospital but will have to have her gall bladder removed next month.   But that’s the easy part.  For the next month she’ll have to exist on a diet of no fat, salt or alcohol.  I know, I’m like how is that even possible.    But then I had this thought  that maybe I should give up alcohol with her (shut up Jenny), be a cheelader of sorts, help her get through this.  But then Natalie said in all her wisdom,  “no, one day something like this may happen to you and YOU’LL have to give up alcohol..l would just wait until that happens”.   THAT’S friendship.  Cheers to you Natalie!

    (and anyway, her mom is here visiting so I can always sneak away for fried calamari and dirty martini’s with her…)

  9. The Zhetson’s

    January 13, 2010 by admin

    I’ve been kind of obsessed with this abandoned hotel project not far from our home.   Construction apparently halted a year ago during the global financial crisis.  I really like the architecture, it reminds me of early 60’s modern Los Angeles type of thing.  Like the “Theme Building” at LAX built in 1961 which now houses Encounter.  Which is kind of what China is like right now, well it’s what Shanghai feels like anyway.  It’s churning and moving, the middle class are getting cars and paying cash for them (if you’re over 40 you’ll remember we used to do that!), they’re buying real estate, hair-cuts are getting crazier, artist’s are painting their angst over capitalism.

    Anyprayingitdoesn’tallcomecrashingdownhoo, this hotel was just purchased by one of those “billionaires” out there and it’s supposed to be completed by the time the Expo starts.  Not sure if that’s possible but I’m excited to see the final product whenever it’s done.  I’m just hoping they have a good bar to hang out in.

  10. There are some things I don’t miss about home

    January 13, 2010 by admin

    The Chinese don’t appear to be obsessed with Kate or Jon Gosselin or actually know who they are for that matter, and I haven’t seen anyone wearing Ed Hardy anything.  Sarah Palin is not a “news” commentator.   There’s no news about any narcissistic “balloon boy” type parents vying for a reality show (yet).   There is no show about the Real Housewives of Shanghai although lord knows I would watch that mess in a heartbeat.  Just replace the fake boobs, botox and going broke with no boobs, facial whitening cream and getting richer by the second.